Dear universe,
Please send me money. Please help me get through this time of turmoil and chaos. Please help me get through this mountain of school work and do good this semester. Please help me understand and commit to memory spanish. And please please, look after my friends and loved ones. I think something is off in the stars right now, and I think we could all use some help.

So i know its been FOREVER, but i got sick and then i had all this school stuff and ... ahhh!

The universe has definately given me a roller coaster ride. The school kinda fucked me when it came to my refund check (which i still havent received yet grrr) but the universe is looking out for me, so I know everything will be ok soon. Ri and Maya and Devin still havent gotten settled into their new apt, but its getting there, slowly but surely. I cant wait till its all done so we can start rping again. and Maya said she ordered the bsg rp book, so im kinda geeky giddy about that. And Boxey (my box... great name for it huh?) is being kinda a bitch, but nothing a long ass wipe cant fix. And YAY! im learning html. so yeah, im getting my geek on.

So im taking a class called philosophy of peace and war, and im totally gonna use bsg and the animatrix in my presentations. :) Im also gonna use this great peace by Maya that she was inspired to do when Ri was taking the class last year. Im trying to find a contemporary play  and/or a novel that reflects an analysis of the concept of war, so if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

NE way, LOVE TO ALL!!!!

So these past two weeks have been insane! School finally started a couple weeks ago, and now that it has, im ready for a break LOL! atleast i only have classes for four days, and i get a three day weekend :) and atleast now i get a four day weekend cause of Labor day, which i really need to catch up on work and readings....

AND TO HELP MY BEST FRIENDS MOVE INTO AN APT THATS RIGHT NEXT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! so im very excited about that!!! YAY that their moving into my apt complex, and YAY that i am gonna have my best friends living like, 200 yards away from me, so i get somewhere else to hang out :) now they dont hafta drive 3 hours a day commuting, and i get to bug them even more ;) U KNOW U LOVE IT!

classes are going pretty good.... but i wanna shoot tripod in the head, or atleast the foot! damn website thingy.... atleast were starting to do some interesting things... right now its a project on womens well being. and in my philosophy of peace class were starting a project on war, peace, and the arts, and i think were gonna lean into the revolution type things, but im totally gonna try to use that great speech that adama does about how we never asked why we were at war (thats to the great suggestion by Maya). And im such a dork, but Im so excited about advanced logic. were not on proofs yet :P but atleast were not on damn truth tables any more! I hate those suckers!

speaking of suckers, I read the script for Blood: A butcher's tale (the film that aaron douglas AKA chief is in) and its prolly gonna be a b rated movie, but its got some funny parts that made me burst out laughing in the middle of the library, so it shows some promise of entertainment. 

crazy times, but ill take anything over mundane.... LOVE TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!

just a side note, I LOVE friday nights on sci fi, because painkiller jane is getting really really good, and i wanna frakkin know what the hell is going on! damn them for making us wait two weeks! and thank the gods they got rid of that annoying boyfriend, but im dying to know what happened...

And flash gordon is actually proving to be a good show, well written, and pretty funny and hot at times.

and might i add that eureka is getting so frakkin good. but, it does annoy me a bit that they kinda have left some things alone and still havent tackled certain issues, but its still getting deeper into the stories so its building up and getting good.

YAY sci fi! you may make c rated movies, but ur shows are kickin ass!

so last weekends bachelorette party was totally fun! loved seeing Nicole and Robbie and some old friends, as well as meeting some new great friends that i gotta chill out with more often.

Their wedding is this weekend :) so excited... and i get to meet their daughter, who looks so precious, but im sure the pics dont do that lil girl justice

and then monday is the first day of classes... funny how my schedule worked out... i have a class at 11, then nothing til 5 at night.... thank the gods i live far enough away to get out of the crazy city, but close enough where i can travel back and forth to campus. atleast with school starting, ill be able to talk to my advisor and figure out when i can graduate *rolls eyes*

Lords of Kobol, hear my prayer,
Please, please for the sake of my sanity, let me be able to graduate in may!!!!!

p.s. i FINALLY finished that crowthistle chronicles, or atleast the three that have been released (the forth and final is supposed to be released in october hopefully) and DAMN that was good... i might hafta move this series up on my list as my favorite (so in otherwords its SO FRAKKIN GOOD!!!!!) i recommend to all the series by Cecilia Dart-thornton as long as u like fantasy/epic/journey type stuff... *does happy dance*

ok, its been a while again, but im posting so :P lol

so yeah! my apt finally has a couch... well, its a futon but same difference right? now i can have a place for my friends to sit... (and Ri and Maya pointed out another valuable way to manipulate it for the future happiness of my... love life hahaha)

schools starting in two frakkin weeks! crazy how the time passes by...

my moms bday is today so yay to her!

jeffs birthday is next friday lol hes finally turning 17, and hes about to start his senior year!

random call out of the blue has lead me back to an old friend whose now getting married!!! i cant wait to see her again! im so happy for them!

books id recommend from the few i read last month: The Fairy Godmother and One Good Knight, both by Mercedes Lackey... (the one good knight kicked ass! rock on army of medieval virgins with their two dragons!)

so yeah, thats about it for now... love and peace to all! i hope everyone is happy and knows how much i love them!

so its been a while, but the times, they have been crazy! moms caught some momentum and is now on a big change run so YAY! and Jeff is still an ass! (i know kid brothers have this whole asshole right, but comeon! this sucks!) and apparantly i knew more music than i thought, thanks to the world series of pop culture lol... nothing makes u feel smarter than a game where u actually know most of the answers...

classes start back up in a month, and im actually looking forward to it... im just ready to graduate already! lol and im taking fun and or easy classes: spanish II, geography, advanced logic, international women studies (wink wink) and philosophy of peace... and Ri's gonna be in the women studies class... as long as she hasnt changed her schedule lol... and i did decide to drop the second major to a minor so i can get the frak out of college... i know it would have been great if i could have studied abroad for a semester, but i just gotta get outta school and hit the next phase in my life...

and ofcourse my mom ended up giving me the blood books by Tanya Huff in which the tv series blood ties is based upon.. damn her for getting me hooked into a series about vampires! (and by the by, as always the books are proving to be better than the show, but the show still rocks! i cant wait til it comes back!)

ok, now back to studying spanish and workin on my existential cylon paper...

i wonder if its gonna rain again tonight... i hope not, ive had that damn song "rain drops keep fallin on my head" since all these storms started comming... damn there it goes again

love to all.. i hope everyone is good!

quote of the day: "if pictures are worth a thousand words, and actions speak lounder than words, than i guess silence really is golden!"

what do u do? do u say something? do u pretend like nothing has happened? what did happen? why do am i the only one who doesnt get it? am i that clueless, or did something serious happen? do people switch positions of importance in ur life just like that? why do we shift our responsibilities over to others? why do we need an object of blame? can u hold back too much and give the impression of not caring? or when u say honest things, is it brutal? and if so, whats so brutal about the words we pass to others? how much does intent play? how much patience should u spend? is there a such thing as over reacting? or is there only miscommunications? when u leave off with the ball in the other persons court, do u really wait for them to make the next play, or do u take it in ur own hands? is my ego like a balloon full of helium, or is it just a pencil balloon in the shape of a turtle (which ofcourse is my favorite balloon animal... lol ill never forget how to make that... nor the flower or the sword)? do i really know what to say, or do i merely know what i mean (and the 'merely is in the sense of mere christianity.... gods i love being a phil major)? am i still asking myself, or am i now trying to find the answer.....

i think im looking for the answer, like the intangible blue flower

"The Buddhists say there are 149 ways to God. I'm not looking for God, only for myself, and that is far more complicated. God has had a great deal written about Him; nothing has been written about me. God is bigger, like my mother, easier to find, even in the dark. I could be anywhere, and since I can't describe myself I can't ask for help. We are alone in this quest, and Fortunata is right not to disguise it, though she may not be wrong about love. I have met a great many pilgrims on their way towards God and I wonder why they have chosen to look for him rather than themselves. Perhaps I'm missing the point - perhaps whilst looking for someone else you might come across yourself unexpectedly, in a garden somewhere or on a mountain watching the rain. But they don't seem to care about who they are. Some of them have told me that the very point of searching for God is to forget about oneself, to lose oneself for ever. But it is not difficult to lose oneself, or is it the ego they are talking about, the hollow, screaming cadaver that has no spirit within it?
"I think that cadaver is only the ideal self run mad, and if the other life, the secret life, could be found and brought home, then a person might live in peace and have no need for God. After all, He has no need for us, being complete."
-Jordan

"I am a sinner, not in body but in mind. I know what love sounds like because I have heard it through the wall, but I do not know what it feels like. What can it be like, two bodies slippery as eels on a mud-flat, panting like dogs after a pig?
"Ifell inlove once, if love be that cruelty which takes us straight to the gates of paradise only to remind us they are closed for ever."
-the Dog Woman

"You may have heard of Rapunzel.
"Against the wishes of her family, who can best be described by their passion for collecting miniature dolls, she went to live in a tower with an older woman.
"Her family were so incensed by her refusal to marry the prince next door that they vilified the couple, calling one a witch and the other a little girl. Not content with names, they ceaselessly tried to break into the tower, so much so that the happy pair had to seal up any entrance that was not on a level with the sky. The lover got in by climbing up Rapunzel's hair, and Rapunzel got in my nailing a wig to the floor and shinning up the tresses flung out of the window. Both of them could have used a ladder, but they were in love.
"One day the prince, who had always liked to borrow his mother's frocks, dressed up as Rapunzel's lover and dragged himself into the tower, Once inside he tied her up and waited for the wicked witch to arrive. The moment she leaped through the window, bringing their dinner for the evening, the prince hit her over the head and thew her out again. Then he carried Rapunzel down the rope he had brought with him and forced her to watch while he blinded her broken lover in a field of thorns.
"After that they lived happily ever after, ofcourse.
"As for me, my body healed, through my eyes never did, and eventually I was found by my sisters, who had come in their various ways to live on this estate.
"My own husband?
"Oh well, the first time I kissed him he turned into a frog.
"There he is, just by your foot. His name's Anton."
-one of the twelve princesses' story

Jeanette Winterson, Sexing the Cherry

and yeah Eureka! new season looks promising. and thanks to sci fi for the sneak peak of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA event... I wonder who the new cutie is...i cant wait til it comes in november!

do i really suck at communication?

one time one of my friends told me that im mentally part guy, part kid. I laughed and someone said "whats the difference?" . ne way, my friend explained that i dont really beat around the bush, and i can be so raw sometimes that it can hurt, and all i can do is the guy what-shrugg (u know, the infamous shrugg that guys do when they dont get what the problem is even though its blatantly obvious to everyone else it seems). I asked about the kid part, and she answered with something i couldnt argue with. She said that kids still have that awe and wonder that runs so deep, they just speak their thoughts before they have a chance to filter them, and mold them into the appropriate wording so all will get what they see and are trying to express.

Thats what it is. i am always in awe, always blurting things out, forgetting that others are not in my brain and cannot see what the image is behind the words. no one sees the intentions behind the words. no one sees the raw image lying in ur head. people only see the end product. i forgot to polish. I forgot to hold the kids hand instead of let him run wild, and all i can do is shrugg and ask  "what?"

i wonder how long i am going to be invisible....

P. S. writers, of PKJ, please. for the love of Kobol, drop the wimpy bf and give jane a girlfriend, please! u gotta make up for this big boo boo u made, and that might do the trick ;)

so i read (and finished lol) six books this past month, and i thought i would just say a bit about em...

1) The Night Watch by Sarah Waters - yay for lesbian books, and this one goes deep, and is about the relationships we forge with those around us and how they affect the ppl around us with each link


2) Battlestar Galactica by Jeffrey A. Carver - it follows the miniseries to a T, so always a good read

3) The Cylons' Secret by Craig S. Gardner - a fic based before the big cylon attack, it follows Tom at some points, and Tigh and Adama at others... And it has an interesting theory underlined in this crazy experimental society where the cylons are not robots, but companions, and blah blah blah... i have a bit of a problem with just one or two of the things that happen in it cause they dont really flow with whats being revealed in the show *shruggs*

4) The Princess Bride by William Goldman - a great read, ofcourse! and he even threw in the first like 5 chapters of the sequal to it, Buttercup's Baby, but ofcouse I cant expect to see the rest any time soon *shakes fist* atleast Goldman explained it all in the book, and why he couldnt send out the reunion scene, and i dont even understand why those ppl would think Stephen King would be a good choice for writing the sequal, i mean, i get hes got fam from flourence and that helps with the history part that goldman is lacking, but come on! no one wants to read chapters about intricate training and the way the landscape looks... we get it! i wish i could get my hands on the originals though, just to see what all the fuss is about

5) Eragon by Christopher Paolini - like i said earlier, great read, and no i havent seen the movie! lol ...

6) Eldest by Christopher Paolini - the second installment of the Inheritance trilogy... overall it fit the profile of any other middle part of a trilogy... lots of connecting, setting up, and explaining, with few really good parts, BUT, the good parts were REALLY GOOD! i loved the beautiful scene he painted with the two faerie maidens dancing in the nude with a huge dragon tattoo that wrapped around both of their bodies... yeah im a lesbian, what to u expect... what im surprized at is this scene is written in a book that considered youth readings!!! where the frak where these books when i was a youth???

I am now reading Secrets Untold written by starbuck1980 and its very gripping. i havent been able to read the past few days cause ive been sick, but im bout ready to get the hell outa bed and read out in the park! i miss mother nature, and i hate being inside!

So i had a GREAT TIME the past two days! i went up to black mountain, with my mother of all ppl! she needed a break, and she needed someone to drive, so ofcourse i was the one for the job. She found a motel that was right beside a creek, and there was a pretty good resturaunt on the other side of the creek. I thought is was gonna be another baby sitting job, but it turned out to be incredible... besides the beautiful outdoors we got to enjoy, along with all the wonderous splendor of mother earth, we got a new sense of self, and we were able to heal a big part of our relationship and infact made it grow leaps and bounds. I got an incredible tarot reading by a great woman, and got some good news :) AND i got my copyright tattoo lol!!!! fun fun!

so i just finished the book ERAGON, and let me tell u i just got done with seven hundred and fifty pages of bliss! i couldnt stop cause it was so great! and it has the second book comming out. i dont know about the movie, but this book was INCREDIBLE!!! YAY for epics with magic and fire breathing communicating draggons and elves in all their beauty and evil socerers and and even werecats!!! I DONT CARE I AM A DORK AND I LOVE IT!

so i was watching the last episode of season three again, and my friends pointed out something very interesting to me. So at the end, when baltar is walking through the hallway after the blackout (right before the three women run and take him away), and the music starts to crescendo slightly, and it seems as if baltar is looking up at the ship, focusing on something. he then walks up nonchalantly to the wall and almost seems to listen for a second, just as tigh and chief and the others did. i just cant tell if hes really listening, or if hes just looking at the women comming, or if its just really bad lighting or what... but i got two of the frames, and i wanted to post them to see if it would catalyze any thoughts...